Pregnancy and baby blues can really suck. You feel almost like you are going crazy. The thoughts that go through your head can certainly have an effect on your day or night. Whether this is your first delivery or 10th, pregnancy and baby blues doesn't get any easier to deal with. Every pregnancy is different, which in turn means you can't even prepare yourself mentally for what you will go through with depression, baby blues, or just plain old grouchiness. However, if you're educated at least in the fact that at some point it WILL happen to you, you are one step ahead of the game.
I say pregnancy baby blues or depression, but I am also talking about post depression as well. This is more often known as "post-partum depression." Post-partum depression usually happens after you delivery your baby. This can happen any time from a few days after you deliver, all the way up to a few months after your baby is born. I myself didn't experience post-partum until my babies were between the ages 4-6 months. I began to feel like I was trapped, and all I ever did was change diapers, nurse, sooth a crying baby, and never sleep. I loved my baby more than anything in the world, but I began to resent my husband because I felt like I was doing it all. I was jealous he was able to go to work and have adult interaction while I was at home with the kids, doing nothing but being a mommy. These feelings had me uneasy, but knowing they were normal definitely made it easier to cope with. One thing that every new or old mother MUST do is get dressed every morning. This will help in more ways than one. If you stay in your pajamas everyday, eventually you begin to feel like you're only purpose is to be mother. While being a mother is absolutely what you are, you are also a woman. Just because you have children, this does NOT mean your life has to stop. The truth of the matter is your life has just begun, but you should NEVER give up what makes you YOU. Get dressed every morning, and do your hair and your make-up. I realize there are going to be mornings you just can't bring yourself to do it. But certainly make a point of not allowing yourself to fall victim to the "frumpy housewife" title. It's also very important to make sure you get a babysitter. Even if it is just for an hour, you will feel much better (almost refreshed) when you get home. This is especially important if your baby has colic, or tends to cry a lot.
Understanding the difference between pregnancy baby blues and a severe case of post-pardum depression is very important. The baby blues happens when you are tired, and just over it all. You need a change of scenery. You cry at the littlest things and you don't know why. Your husband doesn't understand why got upset when he changed the channel when you were watching the commercial. Baby blues happens to us all. You don't like the way a stranger looked at you, you just need a break, and you can't ever remember what you ate for breakfast (even though you usually don't have time to eat breakfast.) You can't stand the way your body looks. This is all absolutely normal. Post-partum depression is the exact same thing, really no difference. They're just different names. Where the difference lies is in the severity of it. Post pardum depression is a very real thing, and doctors will diagnose it. The only thing you need to be well aware of is while it is completely normal for EVERY mother to experience some sort of depression either while pregnant or after the delivery, there is a line that must be drawn. What I mean is if you begin to have feelings that you may hurt yourself or your baby (or anyone for that matter- your husband doesn't count) you must seek professional help. As badly as I want to say that no woman would ever hurt her child, this is simply not the case. I strongly believe that no woman would ever INTENTIONALLY hurt their child, but unfortunately there is no difference between intentionally hurting some or accidentally hurting someone. This being known, if you begin to feel like you have no control over your feelings, or if you can't pull yourself out of your slump, please, for the sake of yourself and your child, speak to your doctor. There is nothing wrong with needing to seek professional help for post-partum. In fact, it's admiral.
Post-partum depression has different effects on different woman. You may be able to breeze through your baby blues, while your neighbor just can't seem to get her head straight. If you need help, please seek it. Talk to your girls, talk to your husband, go and see a movie. Take care of yourself first, and then the rest will follow. Pregnancy baby blues and post-partum depression will inevitably happen to you at some point-it's up to you to make sure you come out of it. No worries, you will.
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